Anyone else dealing with parents not letting you be goth?

Question

Just let me know that im not alone and i know that although my parents dont approve it i am still gothic on the inside because it's more about the mindset then the outward appearance. But to me i had explained them alot of things a million times and my parents have always dissagreed with me but one day i will move and become an ***** and i will be able to make my own decisions. Even though my parents might hate it.

Answer 1

i wear gothic lolita and other kinds of lolita but when i started to wear it my mom didnt like it my did not care i feel like it dosent matter as long as when your old enough to get a job you dont wear it to work

Answer 2

The "woe is me" mindset has absolutely NOTHING to do with the Gothic subculture. The Gothic mindset is all about embracing the darkness and seeing beauty in things that others may see as strange, grotesque, morbid, disturbing, etc. In fact, one doesn't even have to dress to Goth to be Goth and most Goths are actually very happy and fun people. Contrary to what many people believe, Goth is NOT a teenage phase and It continues well into *********. You're either thinking of emos(which are COMPLETELY different than Goth) or the "Goths" you are describing are posers.

Answer 3

I know all about being "goth." I may be old but goth has been around since before I was even a teenager. and no, first world angst means only in a place like America can you whine about mommy and daddy not letting you play dressup.

Answer 4

Okay, I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were talking about when it comes to Goth. You can disregard my comment then.

Answer 5

Nope, but I am an *****, pay my own bills and dont live under anyone elses rules...

Answer 6

Try to see things from your parents point of view. If you are going to change your appearance to goth, they don't see their little one and wonder what is going on. They wonder if it is drugs, or emotional trauma that you have not spoken of, their minds are going a thousand miles and hour with questions. These kind of changes could keep them awake at night. And you know what it is like when a parent does not get enough sleep!
it is **** being a parent to a teenager. Some teenagers change their minds as fast as they change their clothes. Give 'em a break and sit down, talk calmly, keep your cool and be as mature as you explain it all to them. Most of all listen and take the time for your goth-ness to sink into your parent's minds. Yelling will not accomplish a thing.

Answer 7

Your parents love you more than you can imagine, and they're just trying to protect you until you outgrow adolescence. Love them back because you won't have them forever and you won't know how much they love you until you are old enough to have ******** of your own. Besides, Goth is pretty creepy if you stand back and take a look at it.

Answer 8

I beg to differ on your statement about Goth being creepy. Many styles of the Gothic subculture are actually quite lovely and very aesthetic. That being said, I present you with Romantic, Victorian, and Medieval Goth.

Answer 9

Most kids gravitate to the "woe is me" mindset that is too much of the whole Goth routine. But even if you're only going for a fashion statement, you could do better. There is too much drama and feigned indifference involved with the whole movement. What's wrong with enjoying life?

Answer 10

"embracing the darkness" can be fun?

Answer 11

#firstworldangst

Answer 12

There is nothing wrong with darkness, as I explained it simply means that Goths see the beauty in things that others tend to be disturbed or grossed out by. Goths accept that there are problems in the world and they don't let that bother them. Plus, if you think Goth is all about wearing black then you may want to look at
Cyber Goth

Perky Goth

White Goth

Perky Goths, as the name suggests are often very perky and Cyber Goths can often be found dancing in clubs, so yes, embracing the darkness can be fun! :)

Answer 13

yes

Answer 14

my parents preferred me to be goth as a kid

Answer 15

You are right that Goth is more about the mindset, embracing the darkness and seeing the beauty in things that others find grotesque, morbid, or strange. Fashion is just a part of the subculture and you can be Goth without dressing as one. As for an answer to your question, my parents don't really have a problem with it. I mean they don't LIKE it, but they let me be who I am anyway. That's one thing my mom never stopped her kids from doing no matter what.

Answer 16

yeah it's always the inside what matters i mean let me just give an example of something although i really dont make sense at giving examples well alot of robbers/thiefs wear all black and a black face mask when they go out to steal they might decide to wear a pink mask and all pink one day when they steal but that doesn't mean that they're not thiefs cause they wore all pink. just giving an example by taking another thing.

Answer 17

And there's even goths who wear all white

Answer 18

You are right about that! They're actually called White Goths and it's a very interesting style.

Answer 19

If you're implying that Goths are angst ridden then you should know that you're wrong.
If you weren't then I'm sorry I commented.

Answer 20

I don't live with my parents anymore, but when I did they were very understanding and allowed me to be whatever I wished with little complaint.

Been a trad goth my whole life. p:

Answer 21

My parents never mind it, I would rather say that they like it. xD

Answer 22

You are not alone, this is typical parental behavior. Whether it's justifiable or not your parents are the boss. Sometimes they will be ridiculously invasive and unfair-that's life.
When I was a *****, I had to listen to my parents much to my disliking. They had very dumb rules and even dumber reasons for having them.
It gets better. Please, don't turn into one of those big babies who cries about not being able to do things for herself. When you are an ***** you can do virtually whatever you want. If you still want to be goth then you can do that. Just know that sometimes calmly talking to your parents about how you feel can get them to reconsider what they think about things.
Don't get too frustrated, this is a simple problem.

Answer 23

My Mom says I have to wear more feminine clothes, and listen to softer more mellow music, and stop dying my hair black, and ..... I just realized I AM GOTH!! And I've been one for 35 years! Eh - my Mom just likes to complain, doesn't bother me anymore.

Answer 24

wait.. r u trolling?

Answer 25

I never wanted to "be" goth. I just enjoy hot topic. That and just wear all black. That's all you really need to be goth.

Answer 26

That is NOT what Goth is about at all.
1) Hot Topic isn't even a Goth store but rather an alternative/fandom store.
2) Many Goths do not wear all black and some ****** wear it all. Heck, they have Goths that wear all white.
3) Goth is about embracing the darkness and seeing the beauty in things that may appear strange, grotesque, freakish, morbid, etc to others.

Pictures of Goth types that don't wear all black

Cyber Goth





Perky Goth



White Goth

Answer 27

<!-- In the 80's and 90's all black attire is ALL you needed to be goth. Winona Ryder's character Lydia Deetz in Beetlejuice IS the very definition of Goth. Goth may mean something else now. But back in my day it meant that and this!<br><br> <OBJECT orig_size="425x355" width="350" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" id="1411176328.87" height="292"><param name="allowNetworking" value="internal"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="never"><param name="enableJSURL" value="false"><param name="enableHREF" value="false"><param name="saveEmbedTags" value="true"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/NtYggjHmEFc&amp;rel=1&amp;autoplay=0"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/NtYggjHmEFc&amp;rel=1&amp;autoplay=0" allowNetworking="internal" wmode="transparent" allowScriptAccess="never" enableHREF="false" height="292" width="350" enableJSURL="false" autostart="false" orig_size="425x355" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></OBJECT> <br> <IMG orig_size="546x280" width="350" height="179" src="https://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2013-10/enhanced/webdr06/29/18/enhanced-buzz-15666-1383084781-22.jpg#Goth%20kids%20south%20park%20546x280" alt="Goth kids south park " *****="Goth kids south park "/> <br> <IMG orig_size="1920x1080" width="350" height="197" src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/22tQfjQCEFw/maxresdefault.jpg#Goth%20kids%20south%20park%201920x1080" alt="Goth kids south park " *****="Goth kids south park "/> -->In the 80's and 90's all black attire is ALL you needed to be goth. Winona Ryder's character Lydia Deetz in Beetlejuice IS the very definition of Goth. Goth may mean something else now. But back in my day it meant that and this!

Answer 28

I'm just saying that there are so many types of Goth now that black is not a requirement.

Answer 29

but it was funny, my father was all over my older brother to cut his hair, but my father never had a problem with my hair being long.

Answer 30

That's not something that I'm dealing with.

Answer 31

Are you sure that the ones you are seeing on the streets are actually "Goths?" They very well could be one of the following.

A) Posers which obviously aren't real Goths. Just people who claim to be and wear a lot of black.
or
B) Baby bats. These are kids who don't know anything about the subculture and dress Goth for the sake of shock value. They often wear too much eyeliner and focus on just wearing black. A lot of the times they are shunned from the Gothic subculture because of this. However most of them grow out of it and into more sophisticated Goth styles eventually.

Pictures of the Baby bat style. Yes one is a cartoon depiction but the other two are not.




Compare that to
Steampunk Goth



Rivethead, Cyber Goths, and Military Goth

https://d2fzf9bbqh0om5.cloudf...

Answer 32

I'm 42 so my parents have no say. :-)

Answer 33

Goths are not freaks and many of the looks focus more on aesthetic than shock value. Especially Victorian, Romantic, and Medieval Goth







http://store.vampirefreaks.co...

Answer 34

You opinion only. Also they never look like that on the street.

Answer 35

There are many different type of Goth. Yes, some have more shocking appearances, but that doesn't mean they're freaks.

Answer 36

If they were anything like the photos you put up, there would not be any problems with then. However, that is not the case at all. None of them have any money to dress like that. They go around in ripped black nylons and cheap clothing from the value village, along with the junkiest jewelry that can be found. An entire outfit might cost $12, including shoes.

I see them every day on the street, their is absolutely no way I would ever hire one of them at my clinic. They scare kids and animals alike.

Answer 37

There are different types of Goths. Yes, some tend to have a more shocking image than others, but that does not mean Goths are freaks.

Answer 38

That is the attitude they convey to the public. If they do not want to be treated like freaks, they should change their image. It is not for others to accept their stupidity and then have them rant that they are being treated unfairly.

Answer 39

ive always been gothic in many ways, but never wore the clothing really. My family never approved of who i am ever. Just how it goes.