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in Living by
Unfortunately, if you work at the Apple Store, you're not allowed to say the word "unfortunately."

Genius Bar employees can't say the disappointing word, but instead are told to say "as it turns out," Perez Hilton reports (randomly).

Here are a few more juicy details:

--In-store technicians are told to speak to customers using "simple reassurances" that they're paying attention, such as "I understand" and "Uh-huh."

--Employees must never correct customers who mispronounce words/names, so they don't feel "patronized."

--The retail philosophy at Apple Stores literally spells out A.P.P.L.E.:

Approach customers with a personalized warm welcome.
Probe politely to understand all the customer's needs.
Present a solution for the customer to take home today.
Listen for and resolve any issues or concerns.
*** with a fond farewell and an invitation to return.

Right -- because you're so enraged that Genius Bar appointments are triple booked and that you have to shell out hundreds of dollars for dropping your iPhone in a puddle that you need to be calmed down.

We've been there. That said, it's still a pretty corny policy.

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37 Answers

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I hate apple. I believe Apple was invented for stupid rich folks who never learned how to use a P.C.
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I appreciate polite customer service, and I think the A.P.P.L.E philosophy is sensible. But I want the employees to say whatever words fit the situation best, not walk on egg shells to manipulate my attitude about the products. Whether you say "unfortunately" or "as it turns out" makes no difference to me. I will buy the product if I want it, simple as that.
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I'm going to try for "you're screwed."
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or sol. any one of these would be AWESOME!!!!
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I mean...just think of this...
wouldnt they lose money if they say that word to every customer?
And just think of this also...if you were trying to make a profit..would
you start off a convo with "Unfortunately..."?
You need to stay positive about the products you wanna sell.
Look at the big picture people / :
I'm not saying to lie or fraud people out of their money with false
information is okay either.
So you get what I mean.
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y its just a word so wat the say a diff word that has the same meanin
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... alot of words have the same meaning but a little different connotation to them. take the words **** and ***... see what im getting at here?
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yep
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the android thing is cute :3
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This level of micromanagement drives me nuts.
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No other computer company comes close to Apple's marketing savvy. It's like shooting fish in a barrel for them.

BTW, I've dropped my iPhone in the bottom of s swamped boat for about 5 minutes; I picked it up, shook it off and made a phone call.
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dropping the sarcasm, it's actually pretty neat. Do you HAVE to use unfortunately? That wouldn't be a problem, lol...
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There are those who try to portray things in a positive light and so they avoid words that project a negative slant. It's a useful tactic. This clearly works at Apple. As one real estate banker said, "We wish all our tenants were doing as well as Apple."

Nuff said. (I've bought a laptop and accessories from the Apple store. They truly have the nut cracked on having an efficient, positive retail experience. Other retailers should make the trip just to study their business model.)
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now they should cut out every single other word in the english language so there are no more lies....thats genius
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i guess mayybeee, they just don't want to get any of their customer's panties in a bunch, because they're all justa' bunch of uppity snooty biotches to begin with. Hmm what came first? The apple or the uppity snooty biotch? Makes ya' go hmmmm....?
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the snooty *****. eve came before eden :p
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DO'H!
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... o. my. gosh. this would be SO awesome. next best thing on someone's to do list:
try everything within right to get them to say Unfortunately.
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But they are trying to sell the stuff, so they need to present it in the best possible light.
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We, at KG Karaoke, are absolutely forbidden to use the "U" word, and you won't find it anywhere on our website. It's patronizing, insulting, and phoney. In fact, it makes some customers furious, and rightly so, especially when the "U" word is addressing a company policy.
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It's par for the course in retail sales, though.

The mantra I hated the most was "There are no problems, only opportunities." Tell that to the companies that got the "opportunity" to go through bankruptcy.
retail sales mantra hated problems opportunities companies opportunity bankruptcy no problems just opportunities
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You can't really trust Perez Hilton.

I would have definitely chosen 'undecided' if given the option, because this isn't what I'd call ridiculous, but this isn't really genius either. It's just there.
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I really am undecided. It's not genius, but it isn't the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard either.
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****
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Oops, meant to click Ridiculous. Just think it's useless, actually...
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Instead of saying unfortunately, they should be saying, "no problem".
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The comsumer likes honesty. Not a marketing tool. I had an issue with my cell and called T-Mobile. I heard I'm sorry about a thousand times but no resolution to my problem. I was told to go to the person who sold me the outdated phone. He was the problem. I got no resolution with him that's why I called customer service in the first place. Apple should be open to it's customers. Then they will have alot more.
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I think they have a good policy but.. some of it is a bit far fetched
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My brother owns a Mac, UNFORTUNATELY it happened to be the stupidest thing ever. It feels like it was made for the technologically challenged.
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Now you can't work in a store without be censored for every other word???? ***, even in my own job I don't have to worry about that!!!!
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It's a business involving sales! of course they are going to have their own language.

business involving sales language high pressure salesman
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2 quotes come to mind

WE ARE THE BORG

[We] all float down here
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I hate Apple and they have ***** service.They ****,period. My friends friend bought a apple that was defective and they refused to exchange it plus they make it impossible for you to be able to change batteries in their product.
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Yikes ..

IF some tech comes to me with ...
"I Understand" .. 'uh-huh' .. many times over ..

Then MY impression is that I AM being patronized ..
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I hate the word 'unfortunately' is negative.The customer is always right. Id say they have good customer serving tactics.
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Actually 'Hate' is a fairly negative word also...
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.... i.. really don't get it.
...