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It's the ongoing debate that never really goes away: Can you ever really be friends with an ex?


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Jezebel brought the subject up again, in the context of a recent episode of HBO's "Girls," and we'd like to bring the debate back to *********.

What do you think, gang? Do you have a personal success story about remaining friends with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend? Or has your experience proved to you that you need to stay away?

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40 Answers

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You can't be friends with an ex unless you never truly liked/loved them but if you did love then there's no way you can just be friend you just *** up wanting to be so much more than friends again
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I guess it depends how "friends" are defined. I always speak to my ex in a warm friendly manner, help her out if there is something she needs help with. However, I will never forgive her for breaking up our family and limiting my access to my ******** to just weekends. Friendly, yes. Friends, no way.
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NO,Never
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I don't actually know. but i read somewhere.
" if you Can be friends with an ex than you still in love/like/have feeling for your ex or you never were in the first place"
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You are right on all accounts

Friends make wonderful life partners but sometimes not good attentive lovers.

So you can keep them as friends if they are willing

Yes there sre those that we never really cared for but they were convinving and showed love but those should never be future friends .

Hey dyd you would be crazy to turn her down turned into becoming crazy for accepting because it wss difficult to get out of it.
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NO
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If you're both mature enough, I think it would work.
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It can. "Where there's a will there's a way!

It depends on the 2 people if they have grown to hate each other, or if they parted peacefully during the bad times. People can work things out though, it is just a matter of how much they want to give to get there.
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I am
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Depends on the maturity level of the exes and the cause of the break up. But, yes you can.
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I think you CAN - but in my experience haven't ever WANTED to.. Why do people want to? I've parted peacefully and didn't want to be friends. Maybe I have enough friends or haven't been in a situation where my ex was mutual friends with my peers - I think that would be different.
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They're an ex for a reason. Even as friends, it's just unnatural. If you want to be friends still after breaking up, then what was the point of breaking up (unless you need space or something like that)?
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BTDT, tried it, but once the tie is cut, leave it cut, only bad things can come of it. If you didn't get along before why would you think you could make it again ?
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not in my experience.
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why would i want that. I don't believe in being friends with women. If I like them, but they want to only be friends. I cut it off since it's a wast of my time.
If they like me and I am not attracted to them. I cut it off because I don't want them to give them a false impression anything will change.
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I usually *** up friends with my exs
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My ex ... NO WAY. The woman should not be allowed to have any weapon ... even a ****** knife. She has a problem.

All our ******** are in contact with me ... not with her. They refer to her as "Dragon Lady."
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In my opinion no. Although I never dated, but if I dated different guys I would never be friends with my exes cause it would bring back the memories I shared with that person, and it would feel like being friends with an ex wouldn't be good for me to go through in my life, but rather to move on and forget about it. Like I said, I never dated but if I was in that situation, then no I wouldn't allow that. But I'm glad I'm single, for a long time waiting for the right one.
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Depends on their behavior.
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That's good! It's all about finding that "Middle Ground". It can happen.
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But it alsom depends on what he/she does
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Yes, I think a couple can be on friendly terms...
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Yes, it's possible.... Not in my case as of yet, but I've known others that have remained really good friends.
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It's a very muddy situation I'm guessing. But then again I know squat from shinola about relationships and the like
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I am still friends with my ex. I guess it just depends on the person.
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If you are, its either you are still in love or you never were
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I could not change enough for her to stay married to her and she certainly could not change enough for me to find her interesting enough to even con side as a casual acquaintance.
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It's one of those situations that really depends on the person.
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So far, not so good but I can't avoid her. She is the mother of my ********. After the younger one graduates H.S. then maybe I won't have to see the battlewagon much anymore.
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no way
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I talk to my ex and we invite each other to parties and bbq's and stuff like that all the time. We're friends now.
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Yeah,yep and yes and of course because I AM still friends with mine's aka my Ex-Boyfriend Eddie Serrano from Marjorie Stoneman Douglas Aka MSD High School from 1999 to 2005 in and on Parkland side of Florida!:):D
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You can't be friends with someone you truly fell in love with.
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I agree. Though, how about if you fell in love with them to begin with as a friend?
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If you were friends but you fell in love with them? Depending on the situation, that'd be a tough one. You wouldn't want to scare them away, but you wouldn't want to stay in the friend zone too much longer either… IDK.
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I'm sorry I got confusing a little there... thanks though, your answer carries insight and consideration
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Anytime :)
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Of course we were not all raised by wolves.
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by ol' mama lion you mean
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Not this guy
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