Exactly. My parents were very strict and thought kids should be afraid of their parents. Corporal punishment was their preferred method of "discipline". This made me internalize everything and left me with a tightly controlled simmering anger toward them. It caused a wedge that has never and will never be repaired. And really, they weren't much different than a lot of parents, but to say fear and pain did NOT "work" with me, is a huge understatement.
Our kids relationship with us is totally different and it is ALL about how we treated them when they were young. ******** are human beings and deserve basic dignity, even when they are not at their best. I think many parents forget that. They need to be taught, but the method in which you choose to do that may affect, not only them, but their relationship with YOU for life. I was very aware that most kids will parent the way they were parented. I made sure that I was a better example of a parent for my kids than my parents were with me. It paid off.