As an adult do you still talk to your emotionally abusive parents?

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asked Aug 18, 2016 in Living by admin (21,700 points)
I am finding it hard to have my mom in my life she was very emotionally, mentally and narcissisticly abusive growing up. She can't talk about her mistakes and doesn't want to admit anything. I am begging to think that in order for me to feel better about my past I would have to drop her until she can mature and come to terms with how the past really happened. Also she doesn't seem to want to change either. Dose anyone else have any similar experiences?

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11 Answers

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answered Aug 18, 2016 by Anonymous (2,291,900 points)
My mother was emotionally and physically abusive. However, I had to forgive her because I would never been able to live. Later in life she was a constant in my life. She never apologized. But she did support me in other ways. Basically there was a friendship later in her life before she was gone.
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answered Aug 18, 2016 by Anonymous (2,291,900 points)
Sounds like we have the same mother. The only reason I still have a relationship with my mother is to keep the peace with the rest of my family. u
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answered Aug 18, 2016 by Anonymous (2,291,900 points)
Yep. What you describe sounds like a carbon copy of my mother. I and my brothers have found that it's best just to let sleeping dogs lie. She is too old to change her mind or her ways.
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answered Aug 18, 2016 by Anonymous (2,291,900 points)
Once you determine how her behavior affects you, and specifically what behavior causes this, YOU WIN. You will never have to own her behavior again, and can allow her into your life, on your own terms within your own boundaries.... and don't own her stuff.... kindly ask her to stop, or leave or whatever when it begins, or just point out that you won't allow that behavior in your life anymore and why.... sometimes it's good to have a meeting just to talk about this, and establish ground rules, based on your experiences and your boundaries... so that you can move forward and she knows exactly where she stands and why.... then if she messes up, she did so aware of it, and it was a choice... and you can then make your own informed choice without feeling guilty..... it works. honest. and not just with parents, but especially with any family member that you care enough about to continue a relationship but with rules....
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answered Aug 18, 2016 by Anonymous (2,291,900 points)
Thanks this has all helped out I actually found an article online that helped out a lot too.

http://www.psychologytoday.co...
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answered Aug 18, 2016 by Anonymous (2,291,900 points)
You need to get on with your own life. Don't allow old baggage to weigh you down. There is nothing you can do about those past dark days. They are a part of your life history, true, but don't allow them to define you.

As for your mom, she may stay in denial. Don't have any expectations.
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answered Aug 18, 2016 by Anonymous (2,291,900 points)
they were great and they have passed
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answered Aug 18, 2016 by Anonymous (2,291,900 points)
My parents are dead, so I can say anything I want to them and know that I won't hear any backtalk on the subject.
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answered Aug 18, 2016 by Anonymous (2,291,900 points)
Some people are sat in their ways and just don't want to change. But I think that its more to this than just be stubborn. She may have issues deeper than what you see and hear.
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answered Aug 18, 2016 by Anonymous (2,291,900 points)
Man, it happens to everyone!
But don't be too harsh on her, remember that she cares about you and she loves you.
I had a very hard time with my mom and my wife 'till I had a serious discussion dealing with the limits of her "intrusion" in my life. After that things got alot better.
Try to talk to her.
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answered Aug 18, 2016 by Anonymous (2,291,900 points)
Rarely do my little brother and I associate with our parents. Our father was a hateful old fart, and our mother lives in a world of denial and false pretenses.
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