I am really into BDSM and have been in relationships based around it. It is nothing to do with perversion at all. It is about the intimacy that arises when someone else would debase themselves in any way you see fit to make you happy. Where they turn their whole body into a vessel for your fulfillment. It is such a powerful statement of love and intimacy where your happiness is so dear to them that they would give up their bodily autonomy to express it. As a dominant ****** personality who also really needs to be loved and adored and craves intimacy, it is very potent and fulfilling to someone like me.
Of course, if I have a partner who is not into it, that is totally cool. There are lots of ways to be intimate and show love, it is just that BDSM is one way that I enjoy and it irks me the way it is portrayed as misogynistic. It can get a little (or a big bit) rough sometimes, yes, but it is never about hate.